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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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1999 Collaboration Between Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas Somehow Standing Test Of Time

LOS ANGELES—Sources reported Monday that "Smooth," the 1999 collaborative effort of guitarist Carlos Santana and singer-songwriter Rob Thomas, has somehow persevered against all odds and continued to receive regular radio airplay this week. "While the projections of most experts suggested 'Smooth' would fade from the national consciousness within its first year, the song has actually proved surprisingly resilient over time," noted musicologist Sidney Brown said of the No. 1 single's inexplicable staying power. "Though it seems not to have any musical or cultural relevance whatsoever, many people, myself included, find themselves humming the track's guitar lick at least once every other week." At press time, the triple-platinum, Latin-tinged rock record was heard emanating from an estimated 780,022 open car windows and 2,300 department store sound systems.

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