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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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2-Year-Old Never Thought He Would Live To See Giants Win World Series

SAN FRANCISCO—Joyously celebrating after his hometown team defeated the Kansas City Royals to clinch the championship, local 2-year-old Daniel Balane admitted to reporters Wednesday night that he never thought he would actually see the San Francisco Giants win a World Series in his lifetime. “I’ve waited my whole life for the Giants to win the World Series, and it’s just so surreal to actually see it finally happen,” said the 2-year-old toddler, adding that as far back as he can remember, the Giants have only been a mediocre National League team that couldn’t even make the playoffs. “Deep down, I always held out some hope that it could eventually happen, but after waiting for so long, you start to think they’ll just never get over the hump. So, when they finally won tonight, all that pent-up emotion just came pouring out. I still don’t think it’s fully sunk in yet. I mean, we did it—we’re world champs!” Balane went on to say that the Giants’ playoff run was the most exciting he’s witnessed since watching the San Francisco 49ers make it to the NFC Championship Game all the way back in 2013.

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