adBlockCheck

2-Year-Old Never Thought He Would Live To See Giants Win World Series

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

2-Year-Old Never Thought He Would Live To See Giants Win World Series

SAN FRANCISCO—Joyously celebrating after his hometown team defeated the Kansas City Royals to clinch the championship, local 2-year-old Daniel Balane admitted to reporters Wednesday night that he never thought he would actually see the San Francisco Giants win a World Series in his lifetime. “I’ve waited my whole life for the Giants to win the World Series, and it’s just so surreal to actually see it finally happen,” said the 2-year-old toddler, adding that as far back as he can remember, the Giants have only been a mediocre National League team that couldn’t even make the playoffs. “Deep down, I always held out some hope that it could eventually happen, but after waiting for so long, you start to think they’ll just never get over the hump. So, when they finally won tonight, all that pent-up emotion just came pouring out. I still don’t think it’s fully sunk in yet. I mean, we did it—we’re world champs!” Balane went on to say that the Giants’ playoff run was the most exciting he’s witnessed since watching the San Francisco 49ers make it to the NFC Championship Game all the way back in 2013.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close