20 Million Americans Without Health Care Attend Painful, Labored March On Washington

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 23

End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Family

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

20 Million Americans Without Health Care Attend Painful, Labored March On Washington

WASHINGTON—With Congress once again turning its attention to health care reform, millions of uninsured Americans made their hoarse and sickly voices heard Monday when they left their hospital beds, assisted living facilities, and piles of rejected medical claims behind to march extremely slowly on Capitol Hill. "The time for universal health care is now," limping demonstrator Vicki Dowbenko said to the crowd as it stopped to catch its breath 500 feet into the three-mile march. "We will not stand by as owwww, unggghh." Congressional leaders have reportedly agreed to meet with rally organizers as soon as a wheelchair ramp large enough to accommodate them all is built in the Capitol.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More