adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

2012 Prius To Feature Rudimentary Reproductive System

TOKYO—In an effort to keep pace with its largely progressive customer base, Toyota Motor Corporation announced Monday that the 2012 line of Prius hybrid-electric vehicles would come equipped with a crude but functional reproductive system. "It's the same fuel-efficient, environmentally friendly car that drivers love, but with the option of male or female sex organs," said Toyota spokesman Veronica Bates, inviting reporters to examine the 85-pound vulva of a just-assembled female Prius, as well as the passenger-side vas deferens of its male counterpart. "The new anatomy is seamlessly integrated into the car's design, which means there's little maintenance required except for occasional cleanup of a nocturnal emission or heavy-flow menstrual cycle." Bates added that automated Fallopian tubes might be available as soon as 2014.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close