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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.
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2012 Prius To Feature Rudimentary Reproductive System

TOKYO—In an effort to keep pace with its largely progressive customer base, Toyota Motor Corporation announced Monday that the 2012 line of Prius hybrid-electric vehicles would come equipped with a crude but functional reproductive system. "It's the same fuel-efficient, environmentally friendly car that drivers love, but with the option of male or female sex organs," said Toyota spokesman Veronica Bates, inviting reporters to examine the 85-pound vulva of a just-assembled female Prius, as well as the passenger-side vas deferens of its male counterpart. "The new anatomy is seamlessly integrated into the car's design, which means there's little maintenance required except for occasional cleanup of a nocturnal emission or heavy-flow menstrual cycle." Bates added that automated Fallopian tubes might be available as soon as 2014.

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