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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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2013-14 NBA Schedule Does Not Bode Well For Phoenix Suns

NEW YORK—Saying that late October through mid-April looks to be an incredibly tough stretch for them, league experts said Wednesday that the newly released 2013-14 NBA schedule does not bode well for the Phoenix Suns. “The schedule isn’t kind to Phoenix at all—they start off against the Trail Blazers at home, and then there are about 81 games there where they’ll face teams that present some pretty tough matchups for them,” said NBA On ESPN analyst Jalen Rose, also highlighting games against the Heat, Spurs, Thunder, Bulls, Rockets, Clippers, Warriors, Celtics, Cavaliers, Grizzlies, Pelicans, Nets, Knicks, 76ers, Magic, Wizards, Nuggets, Timberwolves, Jazz, Lakers, Kings, Bobcats, Raptors, Hawks, and Mavericks as incredibly difficult games for the Suns. “The schedule gets a little easier during the All-Star break, but after that there isn’t any let-up.” When asked to comment on the schedule, Suns coach Jeff Hornacek said he has circled the team’s 41 away games and 41 home games as contests that could pose significant tests.

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