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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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22-Year-Old Gets Job At Website

SAN FRANCISCO—A local 22-year-old has obtained a job at a website, sources confirmed Wednesday. “I am eager to begin my career working at this website,” said the white male in his 20s, who secured his position after graduating from a four-year educational program at an accredited university. “This is an exciting industry. My job will allow me to use my technological skills in the workplace.” According to preliminary reports, the 22-year-old is currently looking to rent an apartment in the major metropolitan area where the website is located.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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