29-Year-Old Has Blast Writing His Will

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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29-Year-Old Has Blast Writing His Will

GALVESTON, TX—Area resident Brian Whitford had "the best friggin' time" writing his will, the 29-year-old disclosed Monday. "That was so awesome, dividing up my DVDs and shit," said Whitford upon completion of the bequest portion. "I even got to give [former college roommate Steve] Krollner a big 'fuck you' by leaving him nothing but that one Phish CD I used to play all the time that he hated." Whitford, who left most of his possessions to members of his family, bequeathed girlfriend Cindy Meijer his prized collection of vintage 1977 McDonaldland glasses.