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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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'30 For 30' Documentary To Explore Historical Significance Of '30 For 30' Documentaries

BRISTOL, CT—ESPN executives announced Saturday that the next installment in the network’s critically acclaimed 30 For 30 documentary film series will examine the historical impact of the ESPN documentary series 30 For 30. “Four years ago, a group of filmmakers began an ambitious, unprecedented project,” read the press release for the episode, which is titled The ‘30 For 30’ Era and is set to premiere this fall. “They could tell what they were doing was special—they were telling sports stories like no one had before—but not even the series’ creators knew what a revered cultural touchstone 30 For 30 would soon become.” The episode, which will be directed by Peter Berg, features interviews and unseen footage focusing on Peter Berg's groundbreaking creative vision and how it affected 30 For 30's prominent impact on American society.

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