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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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'30 For 30' Documentary To Explore Historical Significance Of '30 For 30' Documentaries

BRISTOL, CT—ESPN executives announced Saturday that the next installment in the network’s critically acclaimed 30 For 30 documentary film series will examine the historical impact of the ESPN documentary series 30 For 30. “Four years ago, a group of filmmakers began an ambitious, unprecedented project,” read the press release for the episode, which is titled The ‘30 For 30’ Era and is set to premiere this fall. “They could tell what they were doing was special—they were telling sports stories like no one had before—but not even the series’ creators knew what a revered cultural touchstone 30 For 30 would soon become.” The episode, which will be directed by Peter Berg, features interviews and unseen footage focusing on Peter Berg's groundbreaking creative vision and how it affected 30 For 30's prominent impact on American society.

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