31-Year-Old Now The Only One Of His Friends Who Hasn't Gotten Married, Divorced

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Vol 49 Issue 01

The View

ABC 11 a.m. EST/12 p.m. CST The ladies recount their first murders.

'Downton Abbey' Returns To U.S. TV

The third season of the popular British period drama Downton Abbey made its U.S. premiere last night on PBS, prompting many fans to throw early-1900s-themed viewing parties.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

31-Year-Old Now The Only One Of His Friends Who Hasn't Gotten Married, Divorced

AUSTIN, TX—Describing himself as a complete anomaly within his peer group, local 31-year-old Drew Winberg confirmed Tuesday that he is the only one of his friends who has yet to get married and divorced. “Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to find that special person I can fall in love with, pledge my life to, grow apart from, and then break up with before engaging in a bitter and costly legal battle,” said Winberg, lamenting his perpetual role as the token single guy celebrating friends’ over-the-top weddings and then supporting them through their messy divorces. “It seems as though everyone I know is delving back into the dating scene with this new lease on life, and here I am the odd man out.” Winberg consoled himself with the thought that if he married soon, he could still get divorced and find a new girlfriend in time to take her to his friends’ second marriages.

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