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45,589,321 Healthy Kale Recipes To Try This Summer

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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45,589,321 Healthy Kale Recipes To Try This Summer

We decided not to do this. We were tired. Maybe we will do this in the future. You should check back tomorrow and see if we’ve posted 45,589,321 healthy kale recipes. Maybe we’ll have the energy. Maybe we won’t.

When both of your parents die, it’s hard not to feel like an orphan.

You have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your summer.

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