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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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5-Year-Old Reluctantly Lets Crying Mom Sleep In His Bed Again

BLOOMINGTON, IN—Telling himself it was the last time he would let her do so, area 5-year-old Adrien Hughes once again agreed to let his crying mother, Rachel, sleep in his bed last night, sources confirmed Wednesday morning. “All right, come on, get in,” said the exhausted child, who reportedly proceeded to rub the 37-year-old’s back while assuring her that she was okay and everything was going to be fine. “I’m right here, see? I’m right here next to you. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Mom. You were just having a bad night. Let’s go to sleep now.” Hughes later admitted he was also concerned to see his mother still drinking from her bottle.

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