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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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5-Year-Old Reluctantly Lets Crying Mom Sleep In His Bed Again

BLOOMINGTON, IN—Telling himself it was the last time he would let her do so, area 5-year-old Adrien Hughes once again agreed to let his crying mother, Rachel, sleep in his bed last night, sources confirmed Wednesday morning. “All right, come on, get in,” said the exhausted child, who reportedly proceeded to rub the 37-year-old’s back while assuring her that she was okay and everything was going to be fine. “I’m right here, see? I’m right here next to you. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Mom. You were just having a bad night. Let’s go to sleep now.” Hughes later admitted he was also concerned to see his mother still drinking from her bottle.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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