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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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6-Overtime Game Unites Syracuse, UConn In Common-Law Marriage

NEW YORK—After a grueling three hours and 46 minutes of Big East tournament action last week, Syracuse finally defeated the University of Connecticut 127-117 and a New York state official declared the Orange and the Huskies were now legally husband and wife according to statutes governing common-law marriage. "I just thought it was a normal game, but once [UConn guard Kemba] Walker missed that three at the end of the second OT, I thought, 'Wait a minute, this seems pretty serious,'" said Judge Alistair Kenney, who noted that were either team to die, the other would be able to inherit without undue legal difficulty. "They fulfilled all the principles of common law: They were all competent to enter into a marriage and fulfilled the cohabitation requirement when I granted squatter's rights around the fourth overtime. All that was needed was mutual consent, and that was certainly implied by all the sweat, shared hardship, and squeaking, so I declared them man and wife. It was so lovely seeing those first two OTs of wedded bliss." This is the first marriage for either team, though they will share guardianship of 14 children from previous relationships.

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