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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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6-Tool Player Sings Like An Angel

Jupiter, FL—In a spring training game on Wednesday, Marlins outfield prospect Cameron Maybin continued to impress scouts and opposing players alike by stealing a base, making a leaping grab in center, and belting out the "Spirto Gentil" aria from Donizetti's La Favorita. "The sound of the ball coming off his bat and his vibrato on the 'M'appari' are both unmatched," said manager Fredi Gonzalez, comparing the outfielder to a young Ken Griffey, Jr. or Giuseppe Giacomini. "He's got all the tools: He can field, throw, run the bases, harmonize above the lead, hit for power, and hit for average. His swing is definitely still a little raw, but he's got the voice of a major leaguer. I swear, I melt every time." Gonzalez then sat back and listened to Maybin's rich, honeyed tenor emanating from the shower, took off his sunglasses, and began to weep.

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