adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

6-Year-Old Boy Thinks He Might Be Too Old To Be In Women's Locker Room

STAMFORD, CT—Admitting to a growing sense of unease, 6-year-old Zachary Barrett confided to reporters Monday that he might be getting too old to continue accompanying his mother into the women's locker room at the local gym. "I'm at that age now where every time I'm surrounded by grown, half-naked women I don't even know, I think to myself, 'What am I doing here? This isn't right,'" said Barrett, who called the situation "kind of creepy on a number of levels." "What's my mom thinking? I'm not three anymore, for God's sake—I know what's going on now, and frankly, I really don't appreciate standing around awkwardly for 10, 15 minutes trying to pretend I don't feel incredibly uncomfortable. What's worse, I can tell the women are starting to feel awkward being naked around me, too." Barrett later confirmed that while he was certain he didn't belong in the locker room, he could probably endure another visit if it meant catching one last glimpse of that yoga instructor's fantastic tits.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close