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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Late Night

60-Year-Old Hippie Pitied By 40-Year-Old Punk

SAN FRANCISCO—After spotting Dave Coleman, a 60-year-old with a graying ponytail and a frayed Hot Tuna shirt sitting on a bench in Golden Gate Park, 40-year-old punk rocker Brian Patterson said Tuesday that he felt sorry for the aging hippie. "He's just living in the past when the world has obviously moved on," said the middle-aged Patterson, adjusting the spiked leather collar on his neck. "Guy needs to act his age, 'cause nobody cares about that shit from 20 years ago. God, what a sad, out-of-touch loser." According to nearby sources, both the 60-year-old hippie and the 40-year-old punk were later pitied by a 30-year-old raver sitting barefoot in the grass.

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