adBlockCheck

63-14 Loss Disgraces Penn State Football Program

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

63-14 Loss Disgraces Penn State Football Program

STATE COLLEGE, PA—Following a humiliating 63-14 defeat against Ohio State over the weekend, officials at Pennsylvania State University on Tuesday called the blowout loss a blemish on the school’s storied football program, and the college’s biggest disgrace in recent memory. “Frankly, it’s unacceptable to have the Nittany Lions associated with something loathsome like this,” head coach Bill O’Brien told reporters, claiming that his team’s one-sided loss—its worst in nearly 114 years—does not align with the school’s values, and represents a black eye from which it may never recover. “To see our boys fail time and time again to create plays—and in a conference game, no less—it’s just reprehensible. I never thought I’d say this, but when the clock ran down and I got a final look at that scoreboard, I was actually ashamed to be associated with Penn State football.” O’Brien added that deceased head coach Joe Paterno was “probably rolling over in his grave” when his former team allowed the Buckeyes to put up 408 yards rushing.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close