adBlockCheck

70 Percent of Americans In Favor of Watching Iraq Get Bombed on TV

Top Headlines

Recent News

Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Streaming

Originality

70 Percent of Americans In Favor of Watching Iraq Get Bombed on TV

WASHINGTON, DC—In what Clinton Administration officials are calling "a people’s mandate" for military action against Iraq, a Time/CNN poll released Monday found that 70 percent of Americans are in favor of watching U.S. air strikes against Iraq on TV. While an overwhelming percentage of Americans are "very supportive" of televised prime-time bombings of Iraq, 91 percent "strongly disapproved" of Thursday-night bombings, unless they were to take place during the half-hour between Seinfeld and ER. Additionally, 43 percent of those polled said the U.S. should bomb Iraq on PBS’s NewsHour With Jim Lehrer "only as a last resort." Thirty-six percent said they would enjoy eating a nice, big meal while watching smart bombs fall on Iraqi targets, while 42 percent said they would prefer a light snack, ideally pretzels, and a beverage. Only 6 percent said they would prefer to watch the bombings with no food or drink at all. Said Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "Americans are clearly in support of President Clinton’s plan, so long as it is broadcast between 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. EST and features spectacular explosions."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close