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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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70 Percent of Americans In Favor of Watching Iraq Get Bombed on TV

WASHINGTON, DC—In what Clinton Administration officials are calling "a people’s mandate" for military action against Iraq, a Time/CNN poll released Monday found that 70 percent of Americans are in favor of watching U.S. air strikes against Iraq on TV. While an overwhelming percentage of Americans are "very supportive" of televised prime-time bombings of Iraq, 91 percent "strongly disapproved" of Thursday-night bombings, unless they were to take place during the half-hour between Seinfeld and ER. Additionally, 43 percent of those polled said the U.S. should bomb Iraq on PBS’s NewsHour With Jim Lehrer "only as a last resort." Thirty-six percent said they would enjoy eating a nice, big meal while watching smart bombs fall on Iraqi targets, while 42 percent said they would prefer a light snack, ideally pretzels, and a beverage. Only 6 percent said they would prefer to watch the bombings with no food or drink at all. Said Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "Americans are clearly in support of President Clinton’s plan, so long as it is broadcast between 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. EST and features spectacular explosions."

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