adBlockCheck

7th Heaven Celebrates 100th Underage Drinking Episode

Top Headlines

After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.

The Pros And Cons Of Co-Sleeping

The act of co-sleeping, where babies and toddlers share a “family bed” with their parents, is a rising trend in the United States, though the practice is contested by those who doubt its purported benefits. Here are the pros and cons of co-sleeping with your child

The Onion’s Guide To Trick-Or-Treating

Halloween gives revelers a chance to receive candy all over the neighborhood. Here are some tips to make sure you get the most out of your experience and take home a big haul.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

7th Heaven Celebrates 100th Underage Drinking Episode

LOS ANGELES—The producers of long-running family drama 7th Heaven have announced its 100th landmark episode dealing with underage drinking. "We're proud that we're starting our first season on the new CW network with a storyline we've virtually perfected: the gravely serious problem of kids getting their hands on alcohol," Executive Producer and series creator Brenda Hampton said. "This time around, the Camdens learn a valuable lesson in forgiveness when Sam and David, the 7-year-old twins, are caught drinking Aqua Net straight from the spray-can cap." The episode will be immediately followed by a rebroadcast of the series' 100th episode concerning premarital sex.

After Birth Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close