$80 Million Movie Scrapped After Footage Reveals Brad Pitt Had Spinach Stuck In Teeth For Entire Film

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Vol 48 Issue 19

Cliffhanger High

Noggin 4:00 p.m. EST/3:00 p.m. CST All-state baseball pitcher Russ throws two strikes to the opposing team's star player, the girls nervously shuffle on stage for the regional cheerleading competition, Principal Wolf dials the number of the clinic to lea...

Guitar Music Fad Runs Course

CLEVELAND—Nearly six decades after electric-guitar-based rock and roll began its dominance of mainstream popular music, the fad has finally run its course, a group of fans, critics, and record industry executives confirmed Sunday.

5-Year-Old Announces Circle No Longer Her Favorite Shape

ALLENTOWN, PA—Radically reversing nearly three weeks of precedent, local 5-year-old Tricia Billings announced Saturday that the circle was no longer her favorite shape. "Circles aren't my favorite anymore," said Billings, denouncing t...

Not The New York Philharmonic

PBS 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST A pre-taped concert that doesn’t feature some of the greatest musicians in the country, thank God.
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$80 Million Movie Scrapped After Footage Reveals Brad Pitt Had Spinach Stuck In Teeth For Entire Film

LOS ANGELES—Director Andrew Dominik announced Saturday that he was forced to scrap a new $80 million motion picture after reviewing footage and finding that the film's star, Brad Pitt, had a piece of spinach wedged between his front teeth throughout the three-month shoot. "It's unfortunate, because Brad's performance was so great," said Dominik, explaining that the spinach was visible in every scene in which Pitt opens his mouth. "We tried to salvage it by adding a brief prologue before the credits where he's eating a bowl of spinach, but it's still too distracting, particularly because of all the scenes where his fellow actors rub their tongues over their teeth and slyly point at their mouths." Earlier in postproduction, Dominik noticed that Mary-Louise Parker had mustard smeared on her face, but that problem was quickly solved by digitally inserting hot dogs into her hands every time she appeared on screen.

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