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91-Year-Old Woman An Expert At Outliving

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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91-Year-Old Woman An Expert At Outliving

TEMPE, AZ—Lillian Reselman celebrated her 91st birthday Monday by continuing to do what she's been doing for more than nine decades: outliving those closest to her. "This amazing lady has outlived not only two sisters, a brother, and a husband, but scores of friends—and even her only son, who died in the Vietnam War," Oak Hill nursing-home employee Tanya Stoles said. "Lily is a real survivor." Stoles credited Reselman's incredible longevity to her "great endurance."

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