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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

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DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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A Message From FBI Agent Lucas Emerson

To Whom It May Concern:

This political blog, normally authored by one Kendra Davidson, will immediately cease publication effective this post. As many of you may know, Ms. Davidson has been detained at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base following a series of coordinated attacks on Senators John McCain and Barack Obama, the most recent of which involved attempting to jettison a food product she referred to as "Swing State Fish 'N' Chips" into their respective campaign headquarters using a crude homemade cannon constructed of PVC piping and a butane triggering system. The payloads from these two attacks are currently being analyzed for any possible chemical or biological agents.

Anyone with any information pertaining to this investigation is urged to come forward.

Thank you,

FBI Agent Lucas Emerson

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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