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A-Rod Also Leading Yankees In Grammatical Errors

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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A-Rod Also Leading Yankees In Grammatical Errors

NEW YORK—After an embarrassing post-game interview in which Alex Rodriguez committed three sloppy grammatical errors in a single sentence, the Yankee third-baseman moved into the team lead with 57 on the season. "I'm feeling really well out there, and I thought I had proved myself after yesterday's game, but I just can't seem to remember that prepositions are not a good thing to end a sentence with," said Rodriguez, who has been working with Yankees sentence-construction coach Lee Mazzilli on his fielding of questions. "But irregardless of what my critics say, this inflammable problem will be fixed by me." Rodriguez was also quick to note that he would likely only be third on the team in both grammatical errors and double-negatives if Hideki Matsui and Gary Sheffield had been healthy and talking all season.

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