adBlockCheck

A-Rod Checks Beckett Baseball Card Monthly To See If Rookie Card Went Up

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

A-Rod Checks Beckett Baseball Card Monthly To See If Rookie Card Went Up

NEW YORK—On a recent visit to a local mall with his wife and children, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez entered a sports memorabilia store and flipped through a copy of Beckett Baseball Card Monthly to see if his recent trip to the disabled list had any effect on the price of his rookie card. "I mean, it's not career-ending, but it could spell a tragically early end to a great career, right?" muttered Rodriguez as he ran his finger across the pages, cross-referencing his name against various baseball card manufacturers. "Topps is up, but that's just a typical monthly increase. Upper Deck's got a high book of $40? Now that's just insulting. And Fleer—Fleer didn't even move at all? Goddamn Fleer." While at the store, Rodriguez purchased an autographed photo of himself hitting his 500th homerun and a novelty street sign reading Alex Rodriguez Way.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close