MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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A-Rod To Reporter After Interview: 'How Was That?'

NEW YORK—Following an interview with YES Network analyst Kimberly Jones, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez immediately began inquring as to the quality of his answers. "Was that good? Do you think people will like that?" asked Rodriguez to a nonchalant Jones, who attempted to explain that people "don't really care about these things." "Maybe we should do it again, and this time I can smile more—or less—whatever you think would be better. And maybe I should unbutton my top button to look more relaxed, you know, like, cool. And I forgot to tell Yankee fans how much I love them. Can we get that in? I'm such an idiot." YES executives insisted he did fine and that they didn't need any more footage, but Rodriguez insisted that the crew accompany him to Yankee Stadium, where he had a production assistant pitch to him until he hit a homerun.

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