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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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AAA Member Pulled First From Car Crash

YAKIMA, WA—American Automobile Association member Janet Klugh enjoyed one of the many perks of membership in the organization Monday, when she was pulled first from the wreckage of a violent two-car collision on Hwy. C. "It was wonderful," Klugh said. "Even though the driver of the other car was more seriously injured, pinned beneath the wheel with her left lung collapsed, the AAA paramedics helped me first." Klugh also enjoyed free bandages and a TripTik® with directions to a local hospital.

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