The FDA is urging all Americans in possession of flaky, delicious pot pies to turn them in to FDA headquarters as soon as possible.
HILTON HEAD ISLAND, SC—Golf analyst Johnny Miller called Aaron Baddeley's first-place 15-under performance at the Verizon Heritage golf tournament a good effort, but nothing compared to what Tiger Woods would have done had he been there. "Tiger would have easily shot 21-under, maybe even 23-under because there was so little wind," Miller said to Baddeley during a post-round interview. "Aaron, Tiger would have eagled that long par five and driven the green on that par four, and he would have definitely made that putt you missed on number 12. But, I guess that's just Tiger being Tiger." Baddeley accepted defeat, saying that coming in second to Woods in a tournament in which Woods did not in fact play is no dishonor, and that he would send Woods the majority of the first-place check, minus travel and lodging expenses.