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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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Aaron Eckhart Likes To Make One Frankenstein Movie For Them, One Frankenstein Movie For Himself

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he has always tried to balance his workload between projects that appeal to him as an actor and those with broader commercial appeal, film star Aaron Eckhart told Hollywood reporters today that he likes to alternate between making big-budget Frankenstein movies for the broader public, and making more intimate, personal Frankenstein movies for himself. “If you want to stay in this business for the long haul it’s always going to be a balancing act, but luckily I’ve found a formula that works for me: I do one major studio Frankenstein movie, and then another subtler, more raw Frankenstein picture for the festival circuit,” said the 45-year old celebrity, explaining that taking the leading roles in heavily marketed Frankenstein blockbusters afforded him the freedom to “really focus on [his] craft” and get lost in smaller, often foreign independent Frankenstein films. “At this point in my career, would I prefer to focus solely on the more nuanced Frankenstein projects that are really meaningful to me? Sure, of course. But I can’t complain. As long as I get to tell the deeper, layered Frankenstein stories I want to tell on the screen or stage, I’m happy to sign on for a flashy Frankenstein popcorn flick for the masses. It works out well.” Eckhart added that he rarely gets to make a passion project that also happens to be a big-budget studio film with four-quadrant appeal like I, Frankenstein, but when it happens, “it’s the best feeling in the world.”

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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