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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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Aaron Eckhart Likes To Make One Frankenstein Movie For Them, One Frankenstein Movie For Himself

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he has always tried to balance his workload between projects that appeal to him as an actor and those with broader commercial appeal, film star Aaron Eckhart told Hollywood reporters today that he likes to alternate between making big-budget Frankenstein movies for the broader public, and making more intimate, personal Frankenstein movies for himself. “If you want to stay in this business for the long haul it’s always going to be a balancing act, but luckily I’ve found a formula that works for me: I do one major studio Frankenstein movie, and then another subtler, more raw Frankenstein picture for the festival circuit,” said the 45-year old celebrity, explaining that taking the leading roles in heavily marketed Frankenstein blockbusters afforded him the freedom to “really focus on [his] craft” and get lost in smaller, often foreign independent Frankenstein films. “At this point in my career, would I prefer to focus solely on the more nuanced Frankenstein projects that are really meaningful to me? Sure, of course. But I can’t complain. As long as I get to tell the deeper, layered Frankenstein stories I want to tell on the screen or stage, I’m happy to sign on for a flashy Frankenstein popcorn flick for the masses. It works out well.” Eckhart added that he rarely gets to make a passion project that also happens to be a big-budget studio film with four-quadrant appeal like I, Frankenstein, but when it happens, “it’s the best feeling in the world.”

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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