adBlockCheck

Recent News

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
End Of Section
  • More News

Abby Sunderland - Concocted History's Most Extreme Plan To Get Out Of A Summer Job

Teenage Adventurer

Few will be able to forget when 16-year-old California native Abby Sunderland set out this year to become the youngest person ever to circumnavigate the globe solo and avoid having to work a summer job just like everyone else her age.

Beginning in Marina del Rey, where the lazy teen did everything she could to avoid picking up a few shifts a week as a greeter at Patagonia or—God forbid—deliver pizzas, Sunderland guided her 40-foot sloop Wild Eyes southward until malfunctioning power generators forced her ashore in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. On her second attempt, timed precisely to avoid the months when all the local landscaping places were hiring, she rounded Cape Horn and crossed the Atlantic. After a rogue wave destroyed her ship's mast in the middle of the ocean, Sunderland was rescued from an honest week's work some 2,000 miles east of Madagascar, and more than 5,000 miles from the nearest grease trap. After a summer spent trying to prove that exhausting physical obstacles are no match for human will, Abby Sunderland doesn't even have a decent line on her resumé.

More from this section

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close