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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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About FactZone with Brooke Alvarez

FactZone with Brooke Alvarez is the highest-rated prime-time cable news show in America, offering breaking news updates, in-depth reporting, insightful analysis of current events, and constant monitoring of public opinion through online polls, viewer tweets, and U-Reports. The winner of three "Swoosh Awards For Most Awesome News Graphics" since its debut in 2006, no other news show has done more to bombard viewers with an unrelenting stream of essential information. 

FactZone is known for its political programming, beginning their coverage of the 2008 presidential election in 2006 and extending it through 2010, as well as its investigative reports on missing girls, racecar explosions, and reality-TV trends.

FactZone producers have made a vow to "respect the viewers' time," packing more news into a 30-minute program than competing shows on CNN or FOX do in two to three hours of programming. Much of the credit is due to Brooke Alvarez, whose perfect annunciation allows for news delivery at a rate 33 percent higher than other broadcasters. 

Regular FactZone segments include:

"Media Monitor"—Host Brooke Alvarez exposes the gross negligence of other so-called news organizations.

"First Responders"—First on the scene for debating any issue, the First Responders offer the fastest and loudest analysis in TV news.

"Beyond The Facts"—Jean Anne Whorton goes in-depth, nodding thoughtfully at the real story behind the headline.

"Today In History"—Co-host Tucker Hope takes us back in time for a lesson about important historical events.

"In My Sights"—Brooke Alvarez offers simple, succinct, straightforward solutions to the world's most-complicated problems. 

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