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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Broadcast live continuously throughout the OSN family of networks, SportsDome has been the Onion Sports Network's signature program since the network's launch. The show has since become the most-watched news, sports or current affairs programming in the United States, and remains OSN's flagship program for sports news, analysis, scores, highlights, rumor-mongering and petty personal attacks. The show can be seen in every home in America, every country on the globe and by every branch of the U.S. Armed Services, except for the Navy, with whom OSN remains in a protracted contract dispute over broadcasting fees. Many of the Dome's former anchors have gone on to find success in other fields, including actors John Hurt and Sarah Jessica Parker, poet Robert Pinsky and Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.

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