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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Academy To Give Runners-Up Detailed Progress Reports Outlining Where Stars Can Improve

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to provide personalized feedback so that all Oscar nominees can strengthen their performance habits and ensure future awards success, members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences confirmed this week that they will issue in-depth progress reports to each of this year’s runners-up. “Every nominee who does not win in his or her category can expect to sit down with Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs for a 20-minute one-on-one to go over a three- to four-page summary of their specific dramatic strengths as well as some areas that require improvement,” said AMPAS public relations representative Rob Friedman, who added that the Academy would take all facets of an actor’s performance into consideration when compiling the assessments, including effort, range, and dialogue delivery, each of which would be evaluated on a standardized five-point scale. “Detailed, constructive evaluations are key to helping nominees develop the skills they need to thrive during the competitive awards season, and we hope that this new service will help take some of the guesswork out of what is expected of them and equip them to succeed going forward.” To help reinforce the reports’ recommendations, Friedman said that each runner-up would be required to write up a brief summary of their acting goals for the upcoming year and develop an actionable plan to achieve those goals.

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