adBlockCheck

Access Hollywood Producer Would Never Work For Entertainment Tonight

Top Headlines

Recent News

Details Of Dream House Getting Much Less Specific With Each New Place Found In Price Range

CORPUS CHRISTI, TX—With her initially stated desire for restored wide-plank floors and a walk-in pantry having already been broadened to any hardwood or laminate flooring and decent kitchen storage space, sources confirmed Friday that aspiring homeowner Chelsea Lange has supplied a progressively vaguer description of her dream home with each new place she reviews in her price range.

Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:

Viewers Impressed By How Male Trump Looked During Debate

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying the Republican nominee exhibited just the qualities they were looking for in the country’s next leader, viewers throughout the nation reported Monday night that they were impressed by how male Donald Trump appeared throughout the first debate.

Poll: 89% Of Debate Viewers Tuning In Solely To See Whether Roof Collapses

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Explaining that the American people showed relatively little interest in learning more about the nominees’ economic, counterterrorism, or immigration policies, a new Quinnipiac University poll revealed that 89 percent of viewers were tuning into Monday night’s presidential debate solely to see whether the roof collapses on the two candidates.

New Study Finds Solving Every Single Personal Problem Reduces Anxiety

SEATTLE—Explaining that participants left the clinical trial feeling calmer and more positive, a study published Monday by psychologists at the University of Washington has determined that people can significantly reduce their anxiety by solving every single one of their personal problems.

Trump Planning To Throw Lie About Immigrant Crime Rate Out There Early In Debate To Gauge How Much He Can Get Away With

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying he would probably introduce the falsehood in his opening statement or perhaps during his response to the night’s first question, Republican nominee Donald Trump reported Monday he was planning to throw out a blatant lie about the level of crime committed by immigrants early in the first presidential debate to gauge how much he’d be allowed to get away with.

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Access Hollywood Producer Would Never Work For Entertainment Tonight

HOLLYWOOD, CA–Danielle Pierce, 33, an assistant producer at Access Hollywood, told a friend Monday that she "could never and would never" work for Entertainment Tonight.

<i>Access Hollywood</i> assistant producer Danielle Pierce.

"Work for ET? No way. Never," Pierce told Liz Sharkey, a production assistant at Castle Rock Entertainment, over drinks at a Melrose Avenue bar. "Have you seen that show lately? They're so derivative over there. And slow. They didn't show a first look at the Charlie's Angels trailer until a week before the premiere. We hit air with it–and a bumper piece on Cameron's comic roles–10 days after ShoWest."

Scanning the bar in search of what she called "Extra Terrestrials," Pierce continued: "ET has no voice of its own. One minute, they're doing an E!-style fashion bit. The next, they're trying to be Extra. Our press kit says we're brash, up-to-the-minute, and wholly unique–and it's true. We lead, ET follows. It shows in everything we do, from the exclusive on-set peek at M. Night Shyamalan's latest thriller to the report on Angelina Jolie's controversial Oscar dress, to our coverage of more difficult subjects like the rumored friction on the Friends set."

"Sure, Access doesn't pay as much as ET. But we don't have to," said Pierce, squeezing a lime slice into her margarita. "People know they've stalled and that the culture just isn't the same. I met an ET researcher at a party last month–slightly phony guy–and, anyway, it was clear he didn't believe in the job. It's much more of an assembly-line mentality over there: Just churn it out. And that's really not helped by having [Bob] Goen and [Mary] Hart at the desk. Bob's a poor man's John Tesh, and Mary, she couldn't say her name without a cue card. [Access Hollywood anchor] Pat [O'Brien] is trusted and really knows his stuff. We could go live if we had to."

Pierce offered a specific example of what she believes to be Entertainment Tonight's lack of "freshness, savvy, and insight."

"I was watching their show last night, and they were doing a spot on the breakout new shows of the fall season–almost all of them were Paramount shows, of course. Shameless corporate tie-in. Okay, we do it sometimes, too, but not that bad. Anyway, at the start of this thing, they had a 'produced by' line, and there were three names. How can it take three people to produce this one segment unless you're really overstaffed and stifling people's creativity?"

As a result of the shows' radically divergent philosophies, Pierce said that Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight draw different types of viewers.

"They're half a ratings point above us in the average week, unless we land some kind of Tom Cruise exclusive or something. Survivor helped them, too, since they've got so many CBS carriers," Pierce said. "But their demos are for shit. I mean, we absolutely cream them among 18-to-35s. The only ones ET scores big with are people too old to know or care what's truly going on in Hollywood."

Added Pierce: "The difference is apparent in the names of the shows. They're all about the surface aspect of entertainment. We've got a deeper, far more insider angle, yet are still accessible to the casual fan."

"No, Liz, I could never, ever work there," Pierce said. "Not unless they changed their entire way of doing things. Why? Have you heard anything about that executive-producer position? Not that I'd be interested or anything."

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close