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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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‘Access Hollywood’ Reporter Vows To Get To Very Surface Of Story

LOS ANGELES—With many trivial questions still unanswered about the separation of pop star Robin Thicke from actress Paula Patton, Access Hollywood correspondent Liz Hernandez vowed Wednesday to do whatever it takes to get to the very surface of the story. “I will not rest until I’ve uncovered every single superficial detail and interviewed every vapid source about this troubled celebrity couple’s split,” said Hernandez, pledging to vigilantly document all of the latest speculation regarding Thicke’s new potential love interests and investigate any and all possible inane connections between the separation and Patton’s post-breakup wardrobe selections. “Our viewers deserve a presumptuous, insubstantial take on what went wrong, and I will jump to any conclusions necessary to make sure they are informed.” At press time, the intrepid entertainment journalist had reportedly come upon several heretofore unseen insignificant paparazzi photos of Thicke and discovered that the scope of the story was far more unimportant than anyone could ever imagine.

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