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Oh Great, Another Woman Who Only Loves Me For My Complete Collection Of ‘Rurouni Kenshin’ Manga

Well isn’t that great—just great. Here I am, thinking I’ve finally met someone who’s perfect for me—she’s caring, smart, beautiful, and most of all, it seemed like she really got me. But I should have known better. Turns out she’s just like the rest of them, just another in a long line of women who only love me for my complete collection of the classic wandering samurai manga Rurouni Kenshin.

Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

‘Our Town’ Cast Party Going Off The Rails

PEEKSKILL, NY—Describing a wild scene in which performers and stagehands were loudly conversing, laughing, and occasionally breaking back into their characters from the play, sources confirmed Sunday night that the cast party for the local production of Our Town is currently going off the rails.

Thieves Make Off With Museum’s Most Valuable Docents

CHICAGO—In what is being described as a sophisticated and well-executed heist, thieves stole nine of the Art Institute of Chicago’s most valuable docents in broad daylight this morning, according to museum and law enforcement officials.
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Action Figures Set Cubicle Apart

FAIRFIELD, OH–Ron Pelinka, a designer at Cincinnati's K&G Media Concepts, sets his cubicle apart from those of coworkers with an impressive collection of action figures.

Just a few of the action figures that make Ron Pelinka's workspace distinctive.

"Here's The Creech," said Pelinka, 33, picking up one of the 57-and-counting toy figures that adorn his workspace. "This guy is from Spawn, series 12. Pretty creepy, huh? Roar! Seriously, though, this one is one of my favorites."

Pelinka said the creative nature of his work–designing instruction booklets for clock radios and other household electronics–demands a casual, free-thinking environment.

"I'd go crazy working in a sterile cubicle all day," Pelinka said. "Just take a look around this place. Desk, computer, chair. Wall, wall, door, wall. Management might as well drop us in a sensory-deprivation tank and say, 'Get to work.' Now, my cubicle, on the other hand–nobody's going to mistake it for any other around here, that's for sure."

Most of Pelinka's coworkers personalize their cubicles in some way, adorning them with items ranging from pictures of loved ones to humorous cartoon calendars. Few, however, have gone to the lengths that Pelinka has.

"Whenever someone new starts here, they inevitably come up and ask me about my collection of Dragonball Z series five mini-figures," Pelinka said. "I guess they really make my cubicle stand out, don't they?"

Pelinka's action figures lean against his phone, sit atop his computer's CPU tower and monitor, and litter his desk. A shelf to the right of Pelinka's computer is reserved for action figures that are valuable or otherwise irreplaceable.

"This is an Ultraman in its original packaging that I ordered through the mail," Pelinka said. "And this is a very collectible Aquaman figure from 1976. And Boba Fett. No one gets to touch the Boba Fett. That's why he's in that bag."

Pelinka's action figures reveal his wide range of interests, from comic books to science-fiction films. Included in his collection are Tomb Raider's Lara Croft, Lieutenant Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Trixie from Speed Racer, Morpheus and Cypher from The Matrix, and two different poses of Austin Powers from The Spy Who Shagged Me.

The collection even contains a figure of John Lennon from Yellow Submarine.

"I'm not into The Beatles all that much," Pelinka said, "but I saw this and I thought, 'Hey, an action figure of a musician. That's pretty cool.'"

Pointing to Battlefield Earth's Terl slow-dancing with Princess Leia atop his Zip drive, Pelinka said he sometimes likes to pose the figures in humorous positions. He is also fond of creating accessories for them, such as when he recently teased coworker Angela Rachert by fashioning a tiny sign for Austin Powers that read, "Angie is shaggadelic [sic], baby!"

Though some might assume that such antics result in decreased productivity, Pelinka said the exact opposite is true.

"Working in an environment where I'm free to express myself really helps me get into my zone," Pelinka said. "I look at these figures, and it reminds me of all the cool adventures these characters have had. That really fires me up to design brochures. Otherwise, half the time, I'm about ready to drop off to sleep."

Not everyone is so enthusiastic about Pelinka's cubicle collection, however.

"I keep telling Ron to tone it down with the action figures," design supervisor Lisa Mendes said. "But no matter how many times I've told him, he just keeps adding new ones, so now it's kind of a joke around the office. Still, I just hope no one from corporate ever swings by unannounced, or he might get written up or put on probation."

"That's the price you pay for being a rebel," said Pelinka, leaning back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head.

Pelinka said he has no intention of scaling back the collection anytime soon.

"I gotta be me," he said. "I gotta be me."

More from this section

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

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