Actress, Musician To Wed

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Vol 46 Issue 18

Yankees Hat Purchased

WAYNE, NJ—Thirty-six-year-old Ian Althoff, a self-professed casual baseball fan, purchased a fitted New York Yankees baseball cap Monday for the retail price of $33.99.

Phillies Bring In Bruise Specialist

PHILADELPHIA—Phillies manager Charlie Manuel announced Thursday that a bruise specialist from the Johns Hopkins Hospital's contusion trauma center was brought in to examine a third-degree boo-boo on outfielder Shane Victorino's thigh.

Early Marijuana Use Increases Psychosis Risk

A study by the Queensland Brain Institute in Australia showed that young adults who had smoked marijuana for at least six years were twice as likely to suffer delusions, hallucinations, or psychotic episodes.

Bill Russell

In this classic Strongside/Weakside we celebrate a team player who embodied basketball's defensive mindset. Was he any good?
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Actress, Musician To Wed

HOLLYWOOD, CA—The actress from the big hit movie and the musician from the popular band who have been photographed many times together out on the town are getting married, entertainment industry sources reported Monday.

"I love him," the actress, who has been seen sporting a huge diamond engagement ring recently, told reporters while walking down the red carpet. "He's definitely the one."

The wedding, which will take place this summer, is expected to be attended by many equally famous celebrities, and will be photographed by many paparazzi, via helicopter if necessary. Insiders expect the guest list to be a veritable 'who's who' of the rich and famous, including the Hollywood director, the reclusive former star who rarely makes public appearances, and the very handsome actor who used to be on television but is now in movies.

According to sources, the wedding between the actress and the musician will be the most important social event of the season.

"It's going to take place on a tropical island owned by the couple's super-rich friend," said the blonde entertainment reporter. "And her dress will be created by the fashion designer who did all those Oscar gowns."

"Wow," she added.

This will be the second marriage for both celebrities. The musician, who used to be married to the dancer before divorcing amid scandal over an Internet sexual intercourse tape, has recently attended sex addiction rehab and is described as "ready to settle down" by his lawyer, the famous bald one with the wife half his age.

The actress, for her part, is doing her best to put her disastrous first marriage to the actor who does a lot of drugs all the time behind her.

"It's great to finally see her with a guy she deserves," said the actress's close friend and regular makeup artist. "Especially after all the stuff that happened with you-know-who."

The actress, who almost got the role in the vampire film, and the musician, who recently collaborated with that other musician on the hit song of the summer, met at a gala event for the charity with the colored ribbons. They were later spotted together on the set of her movie about the secret agent who turns out to be an alien, to which the musician contributed several songs for the soundtrack.

Described as "love at first sight" by sources, the pair's romance has nonetheless caused criticism from some entertainment industry media sources, who claim that the musician's bad-boy reputation could affect the actress's image, possibly jeopardizing her chance of being cast in the big sequel that's coming up.

Some even said the marriage will never last.

"If I was that famous divorce lawyer, I'd be rubbing my hands together right now," said that gay Internet columnist who always trashes famous couples on his blog.

Despite the naysayers, however, most are optimistic about the coupling.

"This is shaping up to be the wedding of the century," said the Hollywood gossip columnist in her regular Hollywood gossip column. "One thing is for certain: Their kids are going to be both good-looking and very talented like their parents."

As is to be expected, the couple themselves have nothing but positive things to say about their upcoming nuptials.

"I've never felt this way before," the musician said in a recent issue of a very popular magazine. "What can I say about a marriage like this? It is truly one of a kind."

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