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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Adam Schefter Gives Sweets To Street Urchins Returning From NFL Front Offices With Whispers Of Free Agency Rumors

BRISTOL, CT—Meeting with his network of spies in a darkened, remote hallway at ESPN headquarters, NFL analyst Adam Schefter reportedly distributed sweet treats Friday to the street urchins returning from the league’s various front offices with whispers of the latest free agency rumors. “Gather round, my little scouts, for those with tidings of Adrian Peterson’s likely landing spot shall find themselves the owner of two peppermint drops and a sugarplum,” said Schefter to the barefoot, soot-covered band of crafty young beggars, shoe-shines, and pickpockets he has relied on for years to be his eyes and ears around the NFL. “There’s also a nice tin of bonbons for whoever can tell me the terms of Matt Cassel’s new contract with the Titans. Now, my dearest Timothy, what have you heard of the Browns’ plans to address their quarterback situation?” According to sources, Schefter was unable to confirm whether Roger Goodell would alter celebration penalties after learning the orphan dispatched to find out had been captured and locked in the commissioner’s office cupboard.

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