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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Adrian Gonzalez Asks If You Happen To Know Who Current Home Run Leader Is

SAN DIEGO—While relaxing at well-known San Diego sports pub the Tilted Kilt, grinning Padres slugger and current home run leader Adrian Gonzalez awaited your response Monday after asking if you knew who the current home run leader is. "I'll give you a hint," said Gonzalez, who proceeded to turn around and point his thumbs at the name on the back of the jersey he wore to the bar. "Nothing? He's got 22 home runs. Still no? Come on, you know him. He looks like me, acts like me, talks like me. Last name rhymes with Zongalez. I bet you're pretty excited that he's talking to you right now." Your guess of Ryan Howard was wrong.

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