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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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AFC South

Jacksonville Jaguars

  • Strength: With stalwart Aaron Kampman at defensive end, opponents will be forced to throw at the weak secondary or run through the soft middle of their line
  • Weakness: Quarterback controversy between Luke McCown and David Garrard has coaches wondering if they should even have a quarterback at all
  • Player To Watch: Pro Bowl quarterback David Garrard
  • Biggest Question: How totally weird was it that three different AFC quarterbacks had to get injured so David Garrard could make the Pro Bowl?

Houston Texans

  • Strength: Head coach Gary Kubiak is more than living up to his nickname as "The John Elway's Backup Of Coaching"; if quarterback Matt Schaub continues to improve at the rate he did between 2007 and 2009, he will throw for 6,000 yards and 90 touchdowns this year
  • Weakness: Decision to limit injuries by not allowing players to tackle may hurt the defense; running back Steve Slaton's habit of coughing up the ball may be indicative of serious digestive issues
  • Player To Watch: DE Mario Williams, three-time winner of the Associated Press "Team's Only Good Player" award
  • Intangibles: None, as the Texans continue to be a manifestly corporeal team

Tennessee Titans

  • Strength: Questions about Vince Young's emotional well-being put to rest by presence of mentally stable backup Kerry Collins
  • Weakness: Jeff Fisher took a big chance by signing three kick returners with phobias of things falling toward them from great heights
  • Intangibles: Running back Chris Johnson must abandon his selfish pursuit of the single-season rushing record and concentrate on piling up yards for his team
  • Biggest Question: The Titans secondary must face Tony Romo, Donovan McNabb, and both Mannings this year; will they be able to keep themselves from attempting to get their autographs during games?

Indianapolis Colts

  • Strength: Peyton Manning
  • Weakness: Standout back Joseph Addai, dangerous receiver Reggie Wayne, and brilliant defensive end Dwight Freeney are not Peyton Manning
  • Player To Watch: Safety Bob Sanders until he gets injured in week four, then Peyton Manning
  • Biggest Question: Why is this consistently excellent team so unbelievably boring to watch?

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