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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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After-Bar Activities

The bars are closed, but you and your friends still want to hang out. Here are some ways to continue the good times:

  • Have you considered a 24-hour pancake joint? Apparently not, as evidenced by the fact that you're actually reading up on after-bar tips.
  • Studies have shown that sleep has many health benefits. Give it a try!
  • Have a competition to see which of your friends can round up the most stray dogs before the sun comes up.
  • Where there's a burning oil drum under an overpass, there's a toasty vagrant ready to keep the party rolling.
  • Stare in the front window of the bar and watch it being cleaned.
  • While you may not be close to the ocean and it may not be the right time of year, and such a thing may not even exist, a late-night whale-watching cruise would be pretty awesome, you have to admit.
  • For a classic night out with friends, walk 20 feet down the street after leaving the bar, stop to try to figure out what everyone wants to do, walk another 20 feet, stop and discuss again, and then repeat three to six more times until everyone becomes annoyed and just goes home.
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