adBlockCheck

Sports

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.
End Of Section
  • More News

After Success Of London NFL Games, Goodell Thinking About Trying One Game A Year In Jacksonville

NEW YORK—Commissioner Roger Goodell told reporters Monday that given the popularity of NFL games played in London, the league is considering amending its 2014 schedule to include one game each year in Jacksonville, FL. “We believe there is an untapped market in Jacksonville for real American football played between two high-caliber teams,” said Goodell, who noted that there is actually another sport in Jacksonville that they call football, but it mostly involves the ball rolling around on the ground. “This could be a great way of introducing the league to a city that has never experienced the excitement of an authentic NFL game. And if it goes well, who knows? We might even be able to start a franchise there someday.” A recent poll of NFL players revealed that 90 percent would never consider traveling to Jacksonville.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close