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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Ahmad Bradshaw Still Had Pretty Good Weekend Despite Loss To Chargers

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Though the the Chargers dealt the Giants a crushing fourth consecutive loss Sunday, running back Ahmad Bradshaw admitted in a postgame press conference that, overall, he still had a "pretty great" weekend. "Slept in on Saturday—that was nice—and then that night I made enchiladas with my girlfriend and they came out perfect," said Bradshaw, who failed to break into the secondary on any of his 14 carries during the game. "Game day was beautiful. I watched a couple episodes of It's Always Sunny [In Philadelphia] in bed, ate a big breakfast, and then I played a football game for money. So all in all, a pretty great weekend aside from letting down all those Giants fans." Bradshaw then briefly discussed his disappointing 39-yard performance but cut the press conference short to go explore New York City with a friend.

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