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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Aides Advise Obama To Avoid Any Mention Of America During State Of The Union Speech

WASHINGTON—Ahead of Tuesday night’s highly anticipated State of the Union address, top White House aides reportedly sat down with President Barack Obama and advised him to maintain a positive and optimistic tone throughout the speech by avoiding any mention of the United States of America. “We feel it’s best to steer clear of topics that may cast the administration in an unfavorable light, so we urged the president to gently skirt the issue of America and any related subjects for the duration of his address,” said White House Chief of Staff Denis McDonough, adding that they hoped to deny Republican opponents of any ammunition for their rebuttal by instructing Obama to refrain from talking about the U.S., any one of the 50 states, or the American populace at all. “The country has been a really thorny issue for the president, so given the importance of this occasion and the number of people watching, we recommended that the president just stay away from using any loaded terms that might stir up negative associations with listeners, such as ‘the United States,’ ‘our nation,’ or ‘my fellow Americans.’” White House sources later confirmed that Obama’s State of the Union speech is estimated at seven minutes long and will focus largely on The Rolling Stones’ widely popular 1972 album Exile On Main St.

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