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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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AIG Nearly Blows All The Goodwill Built Up By Wall Street In Recent Years

NEW YORK—Wall Street narrowly dodged a devastating blow to its reputation Wednesday as insurance giant American International Group seriously considered suing the federal government over the terms of its 2008 bailout, a move that experts agreed would have destroyed the tremendous amount of trust and affection the U.S. populace currently feels toward big banks.

Sources said if AIG had decided to join a $25 billion lawsuit over the assistance it received from from taxpayers following a devastating economic crisis for which no one has been held accountable, then citizens who now feel a deep fondness for the nation’s financial institutions may have become outright angry with them instead.

“Wall Street really won me over in 2008 when it veered toward total collapse after years of predatory lending practices,” said Jessica Woodward, 37, a Cincinnati-based software engineer. “And the banks definitely had a special place in my heart after they continued foreclosing on homeowners they shouldn’t have loaned money to in the first place.”

“But if AIG had gone ahead with this lawsuit—well, I’m not sure that’s something I could have turned a blind eye to,” she added.

Many Americans echoed Woodward’s disapproval, saying it would have been “terribly unfortunate” if the company had gone ahead with its plan to sue the government just a few years after receiving a $182 billion bailout package, considering all the work Wall Street had done to rebuild its good name by granting top-ranking officials obscene bonuses, systematically lying to investors, and failing to reform its practices.

“Thankfully, AIG has avoided any action that might have sullied the public’s view of the financial industry as a whole,” said Sam Kerr, a father of three in Boise, ID. “Their decision today showed a tremendous amount of respect for the American taxpayer.”

“Honestly, they deserve a round of applause for this,” he added.

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