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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Ailing Buck O'Neil Fails To Gain Admission To Hospital

KANSAS CITY—A fatigue-stricken Buck O'Neil, the 94-year-old former Negro Leagues star, is going to be forced to spend another year patiently waiting to gain admittance into a Kansas City hospital. "Even though his vital statistics don't necessarily warrant entry, we thought he still had an excellent chance of getting in," O'Neil's friend Bob Kendrick said. "When Buck was ultimately rejected, his spirits remained high, but we all know that Buck is hurting on the inside." Kendrick added that, though O'Neil would never say so, all Buck wants is to make it into the hospital before he dies.

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