Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified).
MUMBAI—Air India, the subcontinent's largest airline, announced it will offer upgraded Business Caste seating on all flights starting in July. "More legroom, wider seats—and no need to associate with the manual laborers," a spokesman for the airline said Tuesday. "Our business travelers must have lived good past lives to deserve this." Air India still ranks at the bottom of the airline industry in customer satisfaction, with a high volume of complaints about cooking fires in the climate-uncontrolled cabins, wandering cows that flight attendants refuse to remove, and the "Untouchable" Coach Caste, which is towed behind Air India jetliners in a giant burlap sack.