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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Al Michaels Asks Cris Collinsworth If They Can Talk About Something Other Than Football

INDIANAPOLIS—NBC play-by-play announcer Al Michaels interrupted the broadcast of the Steelers-Colts game Sunday to ask color commentator Cris Collinsworth if they could talk about something other than football for once. “Cris, can’t we just change the subject for once and have a real discussion about something that matters?” said Michaels, adding that he was sick of dull topics such as dominant NFL teams or how the Steelers should use Rashard Mendenhall in short-yardage situations. “I want to talk like normal men. How’s your wife? What’s your favorite piece of literature? Let’s discuss remodeling projects, childhood memories, or the best weekend trips.” After a short deliberation, Michaels and Collinsworth finally agreed to drop the subject of football and instead talk about the Kansas City Chiefs.

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