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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Al-Qaeda Operative Can’t Believe How Expensive Super Bowl Tickets Are

NEW YORK—According to high-ranking al-Qaeda sources, local operative Fasad al-Hashimi reportedly expressed disbelief Thursday over the exorbitant price of Super Bowl tickets, complaining that even the cheapest seats were listing at nearly $2,000. “I can’t imagine anybody wanting to go to this game more than me, but these prices are ridiculous,” said al-Hashimi, adding that only powerful corporate executives and wealthy celebrities could afford to attend the NFL championship game. “Such a rip-off. The fact that the Super Bowl is too expensive for the average person represents everything that is wrong with America.” At press time, al-Hashimi had reportedly decided to shell out $2,500 for a Super Bowl ticket, claiming that the cost was a worthwhile expenditure.

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