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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Alan Colmes' Death Goes Unreported On Hannity & Colmes

WASHINGTON, DC—The accidental death of Alan Colmes, the liberal commentator sometimes featured alongside conservative Sean Hannity, has gone unreported on their Fox News political commentary show for two weeks. "I can't understand why—why the Republicans are afraid to pull the trigger on immigration!" said Hannity, speaking to an empty seat across the set. "Would someone, anyone from the other side of the issue please tell me exactly how you seduced them to the Dumb Side? This is backwards thinking!" Hannity did not attend the funeral held last weekend for Colmes, who, according to anonymous sources within Fox News, was caught in a D.C.-area crosswalk when the light changed, flip-flopped on which way to go, and was struck by a dump-truck.

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