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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Alarming MRI Shows Peyton Manning Has Been Dead For Past 6 Months

DENVER—After the Broncos quarterback sustained an apparent ankle injury in Sunday’s game against the San Diego Chargers, team doctors were shocked Monday when an MRI revealed that Peyton Manning has actually been dead for the past six months. “It’s obviously never good when an injury is worse than you anticipated,” interim head coach Jack Del Rio told reporters, noting that what doctors expected to be slight tearing of the ligaments actually turned out to be a late stage of decomposition afflicting the entirety of Manning’s body. “We’ve started a rehab regimen for him, mostly trying to keep his rotting flesh from falling off the bone. Luckily, the rigor mortis hasn’t affected his mobility. And in spite of the news, Peyton’s spirits appear to be up.” While the deceased four-time MVP will be listed as questionable this week, Broncos sources expect Manning to start Sunday.

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